Life is funny!

I think that when you forget that you have a blog, you have crossed the line to being a NERD! I have my original blog and I have never forgotten about it, but I had forgotten that I had started this blog. I have been blogging for so long that I have come, gone, come, gone, and come again. It is even worse when you have the blogs listed on your facebook page and still forget about them. My only out is that I never look at my own profile or change it for that matter (at least until someone calls me out on never having changed my pic or info). Anyways, I know I am a nerd, always have been, always will. I like not being an idiot!

Moving on to the meat of this post.

Life is funny how things that are such a big deal at one time lose their drama and magnitude if you can just let time put distance between you and whatever it is. I read over the few posts I have on this blog today and couldn't help but laugh. I was so depressed and down in those posts. Contrasting them with my life now is like comparing night and day.

I started this blog with a few things in mind. I had my heart broken in two last summer by THE girl. You know, the one that you THINK is THE ONE! We went from serious to nothing overnight.....seriously! Over one night, she decided that a life with me wasn't what she wanted and I had to learn to deal with it. It blindsided me, though I doubt the revelation was an overnight thing for her. Anyways, enough about that, needless to say, we have both moved on and are happy with the current situation (I am anyway and I assume she is as well.)

Before that happened, I had been thinking about starting a new blog, and keeping my other blog focused on organ donation and trying to get the word out about how it changed my life. I also decided to do it because I knew she read that blog and I didn't want her to see me writing with heartbreak. (She heard it enough!) I guess that once I got past the initial heartbreak, this blog lost its purpose as a therapeutic outlet and I forgot about it.

I also wanted to distance myself from thinking that people saw me as someone waiting for a transplant. I will always be a transplant patient, but my other blog dealt so much with me being sick that I didn't want people to read my thoughts and think that I was still in that same frame of mind. I am as healthy today as I have ever been and I want that reflected in my writing.

I now look at myself as someone who has fought a battle for my life and won. I continue to fight small battles everyday with my health, but I am not facing the same outcome as long as I take care of myself. I am now learning that one of my major fears is people forever looking at me as the "sick boy".

I am still in the process of finding the person that God has hand-picked for me. I have made a mess of relationships in the past because I was seeking what I wanted, instead of seeking God and letting Him deliver to me the girl who loves Jesus as much as I do. I am not one of the type of people who think that when SHE shows up in my life, it will be flawless and a heavenly choir will sing. I realize that I am [though only occasionally ;)] capable of making mistakes, and I realize that whoever God sends me will be a less-than-perfect human as well. I know that a relationship requires work. I think that two people working toward and with God will be much easier, than one working toward Him and the other pulling away or two people both pulling away from God.

I also want someone who is comfortable with me. Who knows, understands, and is okay with me having had a transplant. I say that I want someone who is okay with it, but I have never had someone turn away because of that. They have ran away for sure, but never because of the transplant. It is usually because I let it slip that I am crazy too soon!

Whew!! This post has gotten long. I was on a roll, so I figured I would just keep going. To sum all of this up. Life is funny how things that seem so big of a deal in the moment are really not that life altering in hindsight. My life is better and I feel like I am now as happy as I have ever been. I am closer to the Lord and putting more trust in Him than I ever have before. I say all of this to say, the negative tone of the blog was a momentary thing. Each day is an undeserved blessing, and I am going to live in that blessing and rejoice.

Oh, and if you followed me over here from my other blog you have heard this before. I am going to try to post here more often.

Lata!